Tyler finally wrote us today. He let us know he is not happy out in the wilderness. He says it's lonely (that makes us so sad) and he is hungry (there is plenty of food just no cereal or burgers....) and doesn't sleep well. He says he knows he is the family "screw up" and he is pretty angry at us still. I was sad after reading it. I knew it probably wouldn't be pleasant but it was still hard to read. I guess I'm glad it's only week 2. Painfully hard to endure, sending your child away. I know he feels hurt and unwanted right now. We will continue to pray and work closely with the staff. Tomorrow we have our weekly conference call to talk about how we form a response to his letter. It isn't sent through post, a lot of you have asked. It's scanned in and emailed. Tuesdays they meet with him, give him our letters and he hands his letter over and they bring it back to the office the next day and email it to us.
I am sure he does feel unwanted. The fact is, when I feel guilt start to set in, I am reminded of the many days and nights before he left that there was very little peace, respect or trust. I wanted him to be able to stay and live with us so bad. I wanted (begged) him to make choices that would allow him to stay. In the end, he chose to walk away from us. He may not see that yet. I hope he does eventually. We could not allow him to stay here with the habits he was forming. The path he was on was headed toward darkness. We love him so much. We want him to be able to feel that. To understand that even though the wilderness seems harsh, we felt we were guided and led to this program. We feel it is divinely inspired. He did tell us at the end of his letter that he loved us. That is good. He is able to write those words. We have hope and faith.
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